10-foot pole, meet 30-mile pole.

I think they'd rather not be in the same country with him . . . maybe not on the same continent?   How about the same planet?

WaltB, I think your outside-the-box thinking offers the solutions to several major issues. First, one of President Bush's few really good initiatives was to try to focus NASA's manned space program on the goal of establishing human settlements on the moon and on Mars, but both parties in Congress seem to think that sending astronauts the equivalent of a drive from Houston to Dallas, straight up, to fix toilets is an adequate space program.

Meanwhile, the Europeans are getting closer to turning on a massive new supercollider that probably won't literally destroy the entire planet and kill all known life in the universe. It might do exactly that, but the sci-bureaucrats running the thing believe the odds are less than one-in-ten.

Meanwhile, the only person who is more bothered by President Bush's continued presence in the United States than the entire Democratic Party is John McCain.

So, solution: Ask Congress to fund a crash program to colonize Mars this summer in order to begin construction on a supercollider to replace the one in Europe so that just in case it _does_ create a planet-devouring black hole, the planet it devours is Mars. If you're gonna blow up a planet, blow up the one without the "Ocupado" sign on the door. As a final bonus, name the new Mars colony after George W. Bush, thereby forcing the president to travel to Mars for the dedication ceremony. It's at least a six-month trip to the red planet, each way, so that gets the president out of the country long enough for John McCain to run for president without having to worry about Bush violating his 30-mile perimeter.

The plan would make America master of the solar system, mark the greatest step in human history since our ancestors left the Rift Valley, create a massive number of new jobs in valuable technical fields, save humanity from potential extinction, and give John McCain a fair shot in November. Hell, it even puts Bush beyond the reach of potential prosecution under any earthly justice system. Everybody wins.

On to Mars!

And the story continues:

Last month, he [McCain] appeared with Mr. Bush for less than 60 seconds in public at the airport in Phoenix

I bet that encounter was awkward.  "Gee George, good to see ya!  I'd like to stay and chat, but you know, got a flight to catch, security's backing up, and I'd like to hit Sbarros."

I'd love to see a parody of "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" with McCain turning into Bush. Along the lines of the '31 version with Fredric March. And use the old poster treatment: calm Henry Hyde in the foreground, the mad Hyde looking over his shoulder.