I think "Today Kansas, tomorrow the world!!!" has sort of played itself out.

The Presidency:  So Easy a Caveman Could Do It

Iran: Between love and madness lies Obsession

Earmarks: Betcha can't pick just one

With a name like Boehner...it has to be good.

Two for me.  None for you.

but most of all:

Congress: We answer to a higher authority (Hebrew National Franks)

Help, I've fallen and I can't get up.

"Vote Republican or you will die." Oh, sorry, that was the 2002 and 2004 slogan.

Hmmm, how about "Vote Republican - the other side is a bunch of volvo driving, latte sipping, palates doing, terrorist loving, super twinks." Damn, can't use that, Hillary is already using that one.

How about the usual: "We'll cut your taxes, kill brown people and give nothing to the blacks." It worked for 35 years, why not now?

Hey America -- this crud's for you!

[Being simultaneously lazy, a copycat, and unconcerned about my own intellectual (?) property, allow me to re-post my comment following Chris O's Plank post on Tuesday on the subject...]

If the GOP is going to rip off an existing tagline, why stop at Effexor's?

Courtesy my buddy Eric Swartz ("The Tagline Guru") and in recognition of Chris Orr's dual duties as political observer and film critic, here are a few movie taglines that provide the 'Pubs a certain je ne sais quoi they may have been lacking of late:

* Handcuffed to the girl who double-crossed him (from "The 39 Steps," 1935)

* Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. ("Army of Darkness," 1992)

* And you thought Earth girls were easy. ("Bad Girls from Mars," 1991)

* The monster demands a mate. ("Bride of Frankenstein," 1935)

* The snobs against the slobs! ("Caddyshack," 1980)

* Sometimes it's too late to tell the truth. ("China Syndrome," 1979)

* A tale of murder, lust, greed, revenge, and seafood. ("A Fish Called Wanda," 1988)

* You'll wish it were only a nightmare. ("Friday the 13th," 1980)

* Lie. Cheat. Steal. All in a day's work. ("Glengarry Glen Ross," 1992)

* The man with the barbed-wire soul. ("Hud," 1963)

* In space, no one can eat ice cream. ("Killer Klowns from Outer Space," 1988)

* Nice planet. We'll take it. ("Mars Attacks!," 1996)

* They have a plan. But not a clue. ("O Brother, Where Art Thou?," 2000)

* They're back. ("Poltergeist II," 1986)

* Sooner or later, a man who wears two faces forgets which one is real. ("Primal Fear," 1996)

* Loved by children. Desired by women. Adored by bartenders everywhere. ("Shakes the Clown," 1991)

* This might hurt a little. ("Sicko," 2007)

* Once you stop screaming, then you'll start talking about it. ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre," 1974)

* Collide with destiny. ("Titanic," 1997)

* The future is history. ("Twelve Monkeys," 1995)

* You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll hurl. ("Wayne's World," 1992)

The above list just scratches the surface. And then there are the corporate taglines...

(more at taglineguru.com)

Maybe more for the Democrats:

If your election lasts too long, call a doctor.

A smaller Republican minority: it tastes good and it's less filling.

Also from taglineguru.com, some corporate taglines:

Pork. The other white meat. (National Pork Board)

Will you be ready? (Cialis)

The antidote for civilization. (ClubMed)

I'm lovin' it. (McDonald's)

No rules. Just right. (Outback Steakhouse)

Doing what others dare not. (Kyocera)

The fun develops instantly. (Polaroid)

Takes a licking and keeps on ticking. (Timex)

One client at a time. (MorganStanley)

Taking care of business. (Office Depot)

Let us go frontwards to the future, not backways.

RepubliCANS-DemoCAN'TS

We have more money, so we must be doing something right.

No need to look behind the curtain.

Leviticus 15:12, cut thee thy Capital gains taxes or perish thee in hell.

Don't sqeeze the Charmin

Wow. Horrible posts. Guess intellectuals don't get branding. I've been doing it for over thirty years.

I like a copywriter from quite a while ago, Pascal:

"There are only two kinds of men: the righteous who believe they are sinners, the sinners who think they are righteous."

Not easily turned into a jingle, but a pretty clever delineation of the two parties.

Tom Davis is actually one of the brighter lights in the Republican party.  Why not embrace his thought-leadership?

Republicans: The Dogfood You Deserve

Doesn't your dog deserve Republicans? (To be read by the Ghost of Lorne Greene)

Republicans: People don't know it's not Conservative

So what is the change we deserve? Didn't they give us enough of it for the last eight years?

fougasseu's Pascal quote reminds me that there are only two kinds of people: people who think there are only two kinds of people and people who don't.

I think the National Highway Safety Administration said it best with its buckle-up slogan in the '80s:

"You could learn a lot from a dummy."

Other possibilities:

"The Few, The Proud, the GOP." (USMC)

"Fahrvergnügen." (VW)

"We're number two." (Avis)

"Reach for a Lucky instead of a Sweet." (Lucky Strike Cigarettes)

"We Know Money." (AIG)

"Between love and madness lies obsession." (Calvin Klein)

"Why Ask Why?" (Budweiser)

"Share the fantasy" (Chanel) also see a Republican majority

"The penalty of leadership" (Cadilliac) also see McBush for President

"It takes a tough man to make tender chicken" (Perdue Chicken) also see Dick Cheney

Egöist.

"You f*cked up - you trusted us."

"Everything you always wanted in a political party, and less." (Miller Lite)

The House Republicans::" We're not old men who bang dudes in public bathrooms...nor are we old men who wear diapers while soliciting prostitutes.....that's the SENATE Republicans."

Print that out on a bumper sticker and the GOP may retake the House.

"Tom Davis is actually one of the brighter lights in the Republican party.  Why not embrace his thought-leadership?"

Are you kidding me? The guy cheated on his wife and married a huge SLUT....I hpoe he runs for statewide office....I'd love to see his own party abandon him...seriously, Jim Gilmore will get a higher percentage than Tom Davis would get against Mark Warner. At least Gilmore will get some base votes...

So far, vc's "We're not old men..." entry sums everything about the GOP's situation nicely for me.

Republicans: Because it's a two-party system and you don't like the other guy.

I'm voting for whoever submitted "I've falled, and I can't get up."

fallen, even

I'm voting for "The Antidote to Civilzation."

"Bumble locally, fumble globally" (a marked improvement over Bush)

"An ignoble spirit emsmallens even the biggest man"

"Practice random acts of meanness and senseless acts of ugliness"

"If you're not part of the solution, welcome aboard"

Fiel a ti (slogan for aguafiel)

Apply directly to the forehead. Apply directly to the forehead

Thank you, George Walker (originally "Paine Webber").

"The Republican Party: It _is_ your father's Oldsmobile."

"Government shouldn't be the solution to your problems - it should be the source of them!"

"Fighting against the common good since 1920"

Ok perhaps I was a bit hard on Tom Davis and his wife last night...

Anyway - it always REALLY got my blood boiling when these philandering politicians went after Bill Clinton - and Tom Davis was one of them who was notorious...though he is a bright political mind and has pretty good constituent service....

Cue up sappy music with American flag in the background....Fade out and pan to a white family of 6 and a golden retriever in a back yard - somewhere suburb USA.

The father with dark, shiny, parted hair to one side, Izod pale yellow sweater, tan slacks, and slip on Italian loafers...grills pre-packaged hamburgers. Mom, brunette hair pulled back in the severest ponytail possible, manicured nails and lots of gold rings and jewelry is spraying the back yard with her third can of Raid Yard Guard Outdoor Fogger. The two children play catch. The daughter wears a chiffon skirt and blouse, hair pulled back in hair style similar to mummy's but with a bow in the back. The son, fat cheeked and pudgy tries to throw like a boy but doesn't live up to his father's over-bearing sense of athleticism (lost on the fields of high school as junior starting quarterback). The son shows signs of frustration and throws ball over sister's head.

The dog lays in the grass thinking to himself...'thank god I'm not their dog."

Camera pans and zooms to father grilling.

Father: "Hello there, you might look at my family and think... 'Wow they've got it all.'  And you'd be right about that. We DO have it all. You see, I used to care about things like the environment, health care and public education. I worked for NGOs and public law firms  that did good things in the world. Then one day I saw an ad in the Sunday paper for a Buy One Get One Free - Republicans in a can. Well, I just couldn't resist. I went down to the local GOP party office and joined my wife and I up that day. Sure my wife's a life-long liberal and Berkeley alumni but since I joined the GOP ...well she HAD to become the dutiful wife that is required by all Republican men.

You see...as soon I joined the Republican party, all my wishes and desires were taken care of. I got a job working as special council to a Republican senator and soon I was living the high life. All expense paid trips to the Marianas Islands for "research", free lunches at K Street restaurants, a new Hummer donated by GM, and I even got this beautiful house from the Home Builders Association of America. For FREE! All because I set up meetings and helped write earmarks for specific people who liked my boss. I can't say that I haven't had it any better. And believe me, I've worked hard for these luxuries. Not like those welfare and socialist folks who think Government is there to help the poor and unconnected.

Why it's there for you and me! That's right....the Republican brand works hard every day to bring new products to the market to ensure that a select portion of America gets all it can while the getting's good..

I just like to say...if you want a life style like me... achieved by cronyism, larceny, bribery and unethical business dealings all with full party backing...Join the Republican party today!

"Republicans...building a better tomorrow for the select few...off the backs of Americans everywhere!"

Fade out to American Flag...

Narrator: "Republican Party is not for everyone. If you are concerned about other people, think logically, understand critical thinking and scientific facts, think government can do good, want universal health care and a better America then the Republican Party is not for you. Consult your attorney for legal advice before attempting any of GOP activities. Side affects include: loss of reality, nympholepsy, hysteria, knee-jerk reactions, loss of short term memory, shortness of ethics, immoral use of authority, jingoism, false sense of patriotism, believe in Intelligent Design, support of lopsided corporate subsidies, abhorrence of social programs, practice hypocrisy, indictments and white collar crime."

It's not really branding, but with apologies to Lloyd Bridges, from near the end of "Hot Shots!":

Think McCain to Obama:

"You dare call yourself an American?  Well, that gets my panties in a bunch.  It's scum like you who put a taint on our nation.

"You'd risk the reputation of a damn fine country.  That's my job."  (PUNCH)

Anyway, aren't they pretty much already committed to "Vote for us or you'll die"?