. . . when you find out that the baby on the cover of 'Nevermind' is now 17 years old.
--Jason Zengerle
Posted: Thursday, December 11, 2008 1:20 PM with 30 comment(s)
(Sigh)
And he's milking it for all it's worth, I see.
Feel old? Nah, not even close. You'll REALLY feel old when your PROSTATE'S the size of the baby on the cover of "Nevermind."
Just you wait, whippersnapper.
[mutters]
Damn reading glasses. Where--
[rams knee into desk]
FUCK!
[turns, rummages amongst containers of pills for enlarged prostate, migraine, high blood pressure, erectile dysfunction, insomnia, acid reflux...]
"Stuff happens like random cool situations where I get paid $500 just to go hang out," Elden said. "People just call me up and they're like, 'Hey you're the Nirvana baby, right? Well just come and swim in my pool and we'll give you some money.' "
Fuck that guy.
"Random fame has 'been a really good foot in the door,' he said."
The mind reels.
No, you feel old when the first time in your life, the President of the United States is not only younger than you are, but at the middle of his second term, will still be younger than you are now.
And yeah, the Nivrvana kid is milking it.
In my salad days, I yearned to be the baby on the "Ivory Snow" box that Marilyn Chambers was nuzzling.
Now unfortunately if I started plopping into random swimming pools, the owners would assume I was one of those rare beige manatees and have me towed back to Sea World.
People pay the Nirvana baby guy to hang out in their pools. This makes him "pool candy," right?
No, you know you are old when the phrase nirvana baby only conjures up images of the Buddha as a young infant. So I take it this nirvana baby is some kind of musical group? Do they play that new kind of music I heard about, what is it called, disco?
I was gonna chime in with my own "you really feel old" moment, but y'all's "really feel old" moments make me feel like a kid. Geezum, but I thought it was bad a few years ago when I went to a ballgame and realized for the first time that every member of both starting lineups was younger than me. But I'm still younger than the president, and I'm young enough to remember "Smells Like Teen Spirit," so I guess I should keep my "feel really old" powder dry for another decade or so.
Still, I tell you, it's gonna be a sad day for me when Craig Counsell retires; there will hardly be any ballplayers left older than me at that point. (Where have you gone, Julio Franco? An aging nation turns its bifocaled eyes to you.)
Imagine how old the babies on the cover of "Houses of the Holy" are!
The irony challenged pundits keep popping out the literal farces.
Spencer Eldon notes that he was paid $1,000 to recreate the swim. He says, "Stuff happens
like random cool situations where I get paid $500 just to go hang out, People just call me up and they're like, 'Hey you're the Nirvana baby, right? Well just come and swim in my pool and we'll give you some money.' "
The irony of course revolves around a sardonic album cover that mocks the depths to which America has sunk in pusuit of money and commodities. If you want mindless consumers you gotta get 'em while they're young, right?
I think maybe when grunge itself had become just another "cool" thing to buy into, Kurt decided to pull the plug. He was never as adept or solipsistic as Courtney was walking down the red carpet.
george walton
1. I was never a Nirvana fan.
2. I may be old, but I'm alive...
"It takes a long time to become young." Picasso
I still feel young. I wasn't really listening to Nirvana in 1991, having been only two years old.
Rhubarbs wrote: "...I thought it was bad a few years ago when I went to a ballgame and realized for the first time that every member of both starting lineups was younger than me."
About the time of Rhubarbs' epiphany I took my twentysomething daughter to a game. We were sitting near the visitors' 'pen, first row, and when the guy warming up was called in he turned, walked over, handed her the ball he was warming up with, smiled and said "Call me" before trotting in to the mound.
Now, I forget who the guy was but he'd been around a while, was the set-up guy and was likely making at least upper six figures if not a cool mill. So naturally I turned to my daughter and said, "So, when you gonna call him?"
She didn't, of course. Youth is wasted on the young etc.
(By the way, Rhubarbs, it's about time for Rickey Henderson's latest comeback, so hang in there.)
rozenson: "I still feel young. I wasn't really listening to Nirvana in 1991, having been only two years old."
How can I say this tactfully? How about: Die, rozenson, die.
Yep, that does make me feel old. Then again, I'm still listening to The Smiths and Joy Division. Never seemed to make it out of 80's. I still have Thatcher daymares.
Man, rozenson. I'm used to being a young'un nearly everywhere I go, even here, and you're making ME feel old.
Then again, it painfully struck me the other day that I'm probably going to be a grand-uncle shortly...snazzafrazzin' older brothers and their procreating...
C'mon, Rhubarbs, Greg Maddux may have retired, but by all accounts Jamie Moyer is still chucking...anyway, where this is crushing me is that when I get to teaching popular music this spring, the kids in my class, who will be anywhere from three to five years older than this "Nirvana baby" (or should that be "Nevermind baby"?) will think Nirvana is old fogy stuff.
[Grabs rozenson by the throat to throttle him.]
sorry yard, I had to try to top you someway.
Second on the roz thing, yard. I remember- tritely, perhaps- Nirvana making me feel old, as in- I am choosing music for myself now, and not just what is being pumped down our throats (I- ahem- had the album before "Nevermind", in the 7th grade). Now that kid is older than I was when I started listening to them, by like 5 years. And everytime roz mentions college I can literally feel my hair thinning.
Just a reminder that williamyard's tattoo is actually German for "the, rozenson, the."
"Nevermind", fiction or non-fiction?
The lyrics to the opening song "Here we are now, entertain us!" keep going through my mind. So thanks y'all for doing just that.
rozenson,
If you want a quick 1.5 hr abridged version of grunge consciousness, run--don't wanl--to the video store and get Kids In The Hall's "Brain Candy".
George:
Maybe. But I suspect he is not getting younger by the day now.
I often say that because we die, life means nothing; and because we die life means everything.
It's a paradox that is eventually resolved for all of us on the day we fall over the edge into oblivion.
"Youth is wasted on the young"
Actually, as you grow older, it's not bumping into youths who squander their lives that exasperates you.
At least not nearly as much as bumping into youths who do not squander them.
Those are the ones you wish you could be young again with. And that is because you never squandered your own youth.
george walto
Enough with the existentialism!!!
Joy Division derived its name from Nazi concentration camps. The camps had brothels and Jewish women were made to be sex slaves for the Nazi guards.
I will assume then Ian and the lads were just being ironic. On the other hand, aside, perhaps, from Malcolm McLaren, the Sex Pistols were anything but ironic.
george walton.
dylanposer wrties:
George responds:
Enough with people free to skip my posts who read them anyway!!!!!!!
Oh, and just out of curiosity: what is it in particular that troubles you about a philosophy able to strip away your identity in a few carefully chosen phrases? I mean, besides that, of course.
Ha! Well, I was starting to feel old, until I read all you geezers' senile ramblings. Except for rozenson - jeez, roz, I have concert tee-shirts older than you.
BTW could I just point out, Jason -- this occurred to me when I first saw the post, but for some reason I didn't leap to the keyboard -- that the story about the baby, who is now an irritating young person, has been doing the rounds for weeks. NPR got it around two months ago at least.
Doesn't it make you feel old when you realize NPR got there first?