Newsweek is rolling out its opus on the campaign that includes all sorts of colorful stuff it received on the condition it not be reported until after the votes had been counted. One bit that caught my eye:
Obama was something unusual in a politician: genuinely self-aware.
In late May 2007, he had stumbled through a couple of early debates and
was feeling uncertain about what he called his "uneven" performance.
"Part of it is psychological," he told his aides. "I'm still wrapping
my head around doing this in a way that I think the other
candidates just aren't. There's a certain ambivalence in my character
that I like about myself. It's part of what makes me a good writer, you
know? It's not necessarily useful in a presidential campaign."
These
candid remarks were taped at a debate-prep session at a law firm in
Washington. The tape of Obama's back-and-forth with his advisers,
provided to NEWSWEEK by an attendee, is a remarkably frank and
revealing record of what the candidate was really thinking when he took
the stage with his opponents.
On the tape, after
Obama's rueful remark about the mixed blessings of his detached nature,
there is cross talk and laughter, and then Axelrod cracks, "You can
save that for your next memoir."
Obama continues: "When you have to be cheerful all the time and try to perform and act like [the tape is unclear; Obama appears to be poking fun at his opponents],
I'm sure that some of it has to do with nerves or anxiety and not
having done this before, I'm sure. And in my own head, you know,
there's—I don't consider this to be a good format for me, which makes
me more cautious. When you're going into something thinking, 'This is
not my best …' I often find myself trapped by the questions and
thinking to myself, 'You know, this is a stupid question, but let me …
answer it.' Instead of being appropriately [the tape is garbled].
So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that
you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a
bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.'
What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't
solve global warming because I f–––ing changed light bulbs in my house.
It's because of something collective'."
--Jason Zengerle