Clearly, these states are trying to protect the interests of their produce farmers.

That may have been the best reply ever, drozenson

drozenson, ew.

You are reaching Kirchick instant recognition status - the first to lines of any post identifies the writer.

Don't blame the police for enforcing dipshit laws. That's their job. Blame state and local lawmakers for passing, or not repealing, dipshit laws, but cut the cops some slack.

Perhaps the legislators of those know that once a kink or fetish becomes gains the approbation of government, it will lose all of its rarified and illicit appeal.  So its possible they are protecting the prurient proclivities of their constituencies by banning those devices.  Given the states listed, it's not unimaginable that they need that little extra spice to keep things on an even keel.  

Second try:

Perhaps the legislators of those states that once a kink or fetish gains the approbation of government, it will lose all of its rarified and illicit appeal.  So its possible they are protecting the prurient proclivities of their constituencies by banning those devices.  Given the states listed, it's not unimaginable that they need that little extra spice to keep things on an even keel.  

Good thing two-dimensional ones are still legal!

(Seriously, what is that qualification for?  To make it clear that they're not outlawing Playboy magazine?  Not to get all geometric on you, Mississippi, but even magazines are three-dimensional.)

This sort of correlates to that Utah theatre chain not showing Kevin Smith's new film with "porno" in the title yet has no qualms about showing the ultra-violent "Saw V". (When asked about this double standard, the owner predictably refused to comment.) In regard to odious stuff like this, I offer up the motto of so many hypocritical right-wingers:

"Show a gunshot, not a cumshot"

Hats off (so to speak) to drozenson!

Meanwhile, isn't "three-dimensional devices designed or marketed primarily for the stimulation of human genitalia" a long-winded way of saying "barflies"?

The "on Lifetime" was a nice touch.

"...Colorado...Virginia...": gives new meaning to "swing states."

Here in Texas, sex toys are not illegal; however, there is a legal limit to how many of them you can own. I believe it is five.

And you can't buy them for sex, they must be "for educational purposes."

Pretty sure they can't look like penises, either.

Mississippi is changing, but ultimately still dominated by the old (white) boys network, which pays lip service such as this 'law' to their religious constituency.  As my father used to say, 'they will stagger to the polls and vote dry' (i.e. against the sale of alcohol).  Such hypocrisy is appalling, but certainly not new and just as certainly not limited to Mississippi.

P.S.  I was born and raised in Mississippi (left for the USAF when 23), and still have many connections there.  Things are very different today that when I was young, but the ghosts of our past are still very much alive.

I see the plot for Smokey and the Bandit IV here: Smokey is called out of retirement at the nursing home to distract the cops on his souped-up Segway while Cledus (with Ben Stein replacing the late, great Jerry Reed) runs a load of Vibrating Touch massagers down Texas-way. I see Oscars, baby!

The Texas law was overturned by the 5th circuit court this past February.

I see at the next McCain rally, "Vicky the Vibrator."

No, no, not "Vicky the Vibrator"

It will be Sarah the Phallus.

I was happy, but not too surprised, to learn that  Alaska is not among the states banning the Vibrating Touch Massager. Lonely, warmth-deprived Alaskans have long enjoyed  the DBD (for those who know the chant)  3-D Object, which operates at ten different speeds and whose settings run from Steep Thrill to Deep Fill (aka No Spill!), with a Virtual Kill option for the truly adventurous. Juneau insomniacs will recognize the theme song, played endlessly on local cable channels during commercial breaks (sung to the tune of Dylan's "Lay Lady Lay")::

Drill, baby, drill! Drill along my big North Slope.

Swill, baby, swill! Feed at my trough a while.

The seal and caribou, the wolf and deer

Shall be reborn beyond the biosphere.

Fill, baby, fill! Turn on your sweet crude flow.

We'll melt the polar ice before we're done --

Less glare when we behold the midnight sun.

Drill, baby, drill! Drill along my big North Slope.

Rhubarbs,

I'm surprised at you! " Don't blame the police for enforcing dipshit laws. That's their job."

Yeah, but it is a terrible allocation of resources to set up a sting to entrap someone for such a ridiculous thing.

Sure it would make sense to change the law, but I have had bicycles stolen, property vandalized, and my child assaulted in school, and the police are always too busy for such minor things, but they can find the time to focus on this?  They deserve their share of blame.  It was not as if this lady was hawking these devices in front of the Post Office.

I wonder what the criminal evidence rooms look like?  I'd like to sneak into one of them and leave a vibrator the size of a helicopter missile.

By the way, I *have* purchased a vibrator in Texas. Well, not me, but I was with someone who bought one a few years ago. We were both minors at the time. Here is how it goes:

1. Walk into sex shop.

2. Point at vibrator on the shelf

3. Say, "I'll take that one."

4. Have vibrator put in unmarked brown paper bag.

5. Pay the cashier.

6. Take it out of the store.

7. Go home.

8. ???

9. Profit.

Unless they hand them out on street corners in blue states, I don't see how it would be any easier.

drozenson...are you implying Red Staters are into corn porn?...Great bit of snark!

I thought everyone bought their Personal Massagers on Amazon.Com?  They ship everywhere don't they?

Pretty sure you could get the Trojan stuff delivered there.

The corner drugstrore started carrying the Trojan Pleasure Rings about a year or two ago, and I have been told they make great stocking stuffers.  It's in the same aisle as the insanely different and copuis amounts of lubricant products on sale.

I must be missing somtheing here.