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COLUMNISTS
TODAY'S STORIES
02.05.2008
The Nicotine Vote

David Sedaris has penned a lovely ode to his smoking years (inhale, exhale) in this week's New Yorker. With wicked precision, he ruminates on just what it is about cigarettes that allows one to be both self-debasing (the cough) and self-promoting (the cool) at once. He extols the many means of self-identification offered by cigarette consumption, pitting Newports v. Pall Malls v. Virginia Slims (my undergraduate literary experience confirms that "Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry"), and noting that the "glam factor"--vestigial tail of Old Hollywood--is no less potent for being utterly vaporous.

For aside from pure addiction, the main psychological explanation of why one smokes is affiliation. (This works in the reverse: "No thanks; we quit.") This is borne out by another, very Samaritan feature of smoking (now sub-) culture: Reciprocity.

Take this guy who approached me after I left the store, this guy with a long black braid. It wasn’t the gentle, ropy kind you’d have if you played the flute but something more akin to a bullwhip: a prison braid, I told myself. A month earlier, I might have simply cowered, but now I put a cigarette in my mouth—the way you might if you were about to be executed. This man was going to rob me, then lash me with his braid and set me on fire—but no. “Give me one of those,” he said, and he pointed to the pack I was holding. I handed him a Viceroy, and when he thanked me I smiled and thanked him back.

It was, I later thought, as if I’d been carrying a bouquet and he’d asked me for a single daisy. He loved flowers, I loved flowers, and wasn’t it beautiful that our mutual appreciation could transcend our various differences, and somehow bring us together?

I believe anthropologists call this "gifting." And it's an all-too undervalued part of human intercourse. That's the same point made by Paul Devlin over at The Root. Tongue half in-cheek, Devlin's "Open Letter to Michelle Obama" asks the candidate's wife: "Can Barack please have a cigarette?" 45 million American adults smoke. So politically, it's not a terrible thought:

Think about the pure gold of "Barack outside smoking with the boys," like he surely used to do, talking sports with the friendly janitors who were having a smoke outside the University of Chicago Law School. If Hillary had stopped smoking, believe me, she'd have started again (and denied she ever stopped), and then reminisced about her smoking breaks with the gals back when she worked as a hair-netted cafeteria lady in a Terre Haute elementary school.

--Dayo Olopade

Posted: Friday, May 02, 2008 2:51 PM with 5 comment(s)

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williamyard said:

Having watched my mother, one of the most bright, heroic, generous, gentle, and courteous human beings I've ever met, spend the last ten years or so of her life becoming weaker and weaker and more and more dependent on her caretakers while simultaneously and inexorably and without the least shred of hope drowning in her own mucus, until her son (that would be me) finally gave the okay to quicken the drip of morphine into her unconscious, oxygen-starved body to a lethal pace, I have little interest in indulging the solipsistic mewlings of Sedaris or other momentarily fashionable writers who present us with the little turds of wisdom they've squeezed from arguably the most vile, noxious, and tragic of humanity's many love affairs with poison.

May 2, 2008 3:26 PM

The Plank said:

I'd like to second Dayo's idea about the political upside of Obama smoking--especially since

May 2, 2008 3:33 PM

aeromonas said:

This ex-nicotine addict sees the logic in your post.  During the time I was a smoker I had a series of semi-skilled jobs in which I was generally the only guy around with a college degree.  My bespectacled countenance was greeted with a good deal of skepticism, but the tension would ease palpably as soon as I pulled out my Zippo and my pack of Marlboro reds or, when I was strapped for cash, my Bugler roll-ups.

That said, I hate to see you characterize anything David Sedaris writes as "lovely."  Fifteen years ago he wrote a piece about his temp job as a Christmas elf at Macy's.  It got published in Harper's and later showed up on NPR.  It was freaking hilarious.  Unfortunately, nothing Sedaris has written in all the years since comes close to topping that debut.  The guy is a bore.  He gives queers a bad name with his default bitchiness that borders on self-parody.  He always tries to leaven the sarcasm with some pathos--a sop for the middle-of-the-road NPR crowd--but it always rings false.  

May 2, 2008 6:29 PM

aeromonas said:

Bill,

Being a doc, I'm fully up to speed about smoking's medical consequences.  Chronic obstructive pulmonary is a horrible affliction.  I think that over the years, anti-smoking campaigns have overemphasized lung cancer at the expense of emphysema/chronic bronchitis.    If more people knew what you know, having watched your mother suffer and die, fewer people would smoke.

That said, you could tell similar stories about booze (ever known anyone with cirrhosis?), pot (worse emphysema than cigarettes), cocaine (27-year-old stroke victim for you?), and heroin (mother of two dead in a Burger King toilet).  And surely you must admit that schtupping Bay Area prostitutes has its hazards.  Cerebral toxoplasmosis and pneumoncystis pneumonia ain't exactly pretty.

What I'm saying is that people do a lot of damage to themselves in their pursuit of pleasure.  Yet the damage doesn't negate the pleasure, and in many cases the risk is part of the fun.  You can refuse to acknowledge the value in a behavior like smoking, but that won't make that value any less real.

May 2, 2008 7:18 PM

psantillana said:

Wrong aero, he doesn't give queers a bad name - the opposite: I became more homophilic when I saw him complain, at a booksigning, that he must have been out of the country when everybody voted on the rainbow flag, as he would have spoken out for "a more tasteful skull and crossbones".

Williamyard, don't hate - he did finally quit, and so to a certain population, having known all the "pros" of smoking gives him miles more credibility as an advocate for quitting than those of us who never did and think anyone who starts to begin with is nuts.

May 3, 2008 4:33 PM