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COLUMNISTS
TODAY'S STORIES
20.03.2008
A Harbinger of the Baneful Things To Come

Throughout the week, Clay Risen, the managing editor of Democracy, will be covering economic developments for us on The Plank.  

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that Harbinger Capital Partners has made big cash on the Bear Stearns deal, and it implies that the firm may have given the ailing investment bank a slight nudge in the last few weeks to push it over the cliff toward insolvency. Harbinger is already in the news--it's the hedge fund that recently forced The New York Times give it a seat on its board.

Now, the guys at Harbinger might be pretty decent dudes. But if you're planning to set off financial mini-crises, wouldn't you want a slightly less subtle name? Likewise for Cerberus and Pirate, two other hedge funds. The game was up at Enron once the media revealed the company called its shady shell operations "raptors." Showiness really only works on comic books. The same goes for Bain. I realize Bain is a) the founders' name, and b) spelled differently from Bane, but really. Nothing telegraphed the soul-death of my college friends better than running into them one fall morning senior year, former scruff replaced by suits and ties and haircuts, on their way to an interview with Bain. "You're going to work for the guy who killed Batman?" I said. "But it's a great company." Nine months later, on their second 20-hour day at a client site in Sioux Falls, at least they couldn't claim they weren't warned. The message was right there on the office nameplate.

--Clay Risen

Posted: Thursday, March 20, 2008 10:18 AM with 8 comment(s)

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ratnerstar said:

I was thinking Bain should change their name to McBain, after the Simpsons character, when I realized that would be good advice for all those companies.  McCerberus?  McHarbinger?  McHalliburton?  McBlackwater?  Nobody could hate those!

March 20, 2008 10:59 AM

adaglas said:

Does this mean I shouldn't name my company LutherCorp?  Ah well, looks like it's my second choice - Evil Greedy Sumbitches, LLC.

March 20, 2008 11:43 AM

mlcarr said:

ratnerstar -- <headsmack!> How could I forget the best/worst corporate name in recent history? Blackwater! What better name for an evil mercenary corporate monster?

March 20, 2008 12:09 PM

williamyard said:

A lifetime of watching the dark spirit ensure that the guy with 50 dollars to his name loses 30 of it before the guy with 50 million to his name loses 30 million of it, and you learn to stand right up and let it shoot through you.

I take what I can get. This morning I'm reading "Humboldt's Gift" on BART with Mozart in my ears when the train stops in Oakland and a blind man taps his cane against the car, seeking the door. Two strangers defer their own entrance, and chance for seats, to go to him and gently lead him aboard. A third rider stands to give him her seat. That serendipitous confluence--the instinctual compassion, the Concerto in D Minor, Bellow's narrative feast--brought sudden water to my eyes.

Take a deep breath, everyone. We will get through this--some, better than others. Let us help those less fortunate, the dark spirit's collateral damage--in the process, helping ourselves.

March 20, 2008 12:26 PM

mlcarr said:

Oh and -- for whatever anyone cares, a long time ago, back when I worked for a company that sold tips to would-be lawyers and I-bankers, I wrote a snide little piece about the worst management consulting names. It's here: www.themorningnews.org/.../branding.php.

March 20, 2008 2:34 PM

teplukhin2you said:

I'll take Beelzebub or Cerberus or Jean Lafitte pver those faux-British gentry names like Carlyle and Blackstone.

March 20, 2008 3:01 PM

ratnerstar said:

Hey, I liked that other article, but ... seriously, how much did BearingPoint pay you for that shout out?  I mean, I don't think BP has a terribly bad name, I just can't figure out why you have exactly one complimentary item amongst all that snark.

Not that I blame you; I would have taken their dirty, dirty money too.

March 20, 2008 4:09 PM

teplukhin2you said:

BP: better than "Tuesday."

March 20, 2008 5:07 PM