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COLUMNISTS
TODAY'S STORIES
19.02.2008
God Wants You To Have More Sex!

Blaming the high divorce rate on people's lousy sex lives, one Florida minister has issued a challenge for married couples to have sex every day for a month.

I won't debate the marital or theological merits of the Relevant Church's challenge--although, as previously discussed, it's a safe bet that most husbands would be far more easily managed if only more nookie were being had. But talk about a flat-out genius way to combat the drop in membership many churches are facing these days.

--Michelle Cottle

Posted: Tuesday, February 19, 2008 7:43 PM with 26 comment(s)

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ratnerstar said:

You know what's worse than not getting enough sex?  Being required to have it every day whether you want to or not.  Sounds romantic, Reverend Relevant.  I'm sure 31 days of grudging, by-the-numbers sex will revitalize lots of marriages.

February 19, 2008 3:23 PM

adaglas said:

Is he specifying that the sex be with each other?

February 19, 2008 3:27 PM

bcbaird said:

Every day?  Even during "that time"?

February 19, 2008 3:32 PM

adamvaught said:

But, honey, I'm just trying to do the Lord's work. And you.

February 19, 2008 3:33 PM

boneill said:

No, ratner, he has a by-the-day program.  

(and on day 12 The Lord wants you to employ a strap-on)

February 19, 2008 3:39 PM

boneill said:

When, bcbaird, you mean "periodically"?

SEXIST!  

February 19, 2008 3:49 PM

adaglas said:

It does make sense though.  I mean, there was an awful lot of begetting in the Bible.  And you can't have that if you aren't begetting any.

February 19, 2008 3:50 PM

epicciuto said:

Bone, I just had the bemusing mental image of the world's filthiest advent calendar.

February 19, 2008 3:57 PM

drdannyu said:

Epic -- hilarious!

And bone, God may want you to have more sex.  Evolutionary biologists, not so much.

February 19, 2008 4:08 PM

Pillbug said:

ratnerstar - as a matter of fact, many sex therapist, psychologists and ... me, recommend self-induced coitus as a means to 'get the engine running' again. It is a proven fact that mor frequent sex increases desire for sex in a statidtically significant percentage of people. Additionally, it breaks down barriers to intimacy that may have arisen.

There are numerous parallels one must draw, but I like the comparicon to playing an instrument. When out of practice, the desire is low to continue to play, even if ideally one wants to be accomplished. If, say, one has been out of ractice, the first few times back are quite frustrating and do not inclrease the desire. But with 'practice makes perfect.'

February 19, 2008 4:08 PM

ratnerstar said:

Michelle didn't mention the flip side of this deal: single people have to abstain for the same time period.  A whole month without sex!  That's like ... uhh, the majority of my months.

February 19, 2008 4:12 PM

stgla said:

Amen to ratnerstar, as anyone who has tried to have a kid after not succeeding at getting pregnant the fun way knows.

February 19, 2008 4:12 PM

adamvaught said:

Do it for Jesus!

February 19, 2008 4:12 PM

boneill said:

epic- "Well, let's opn this door of the manger, little Timothy- my sweet, innocent, freckled, hair-ruffable child- and see what the Lord provides on this advent morn in His goodness and HOLY CRAP are they fingerbanging???"

February 19, 2008 4:13 PM

ratnerstar said:

pillbug- self-induced coitus?  

February 19, 2008 4:21 PM

adamvaught said:

I wonder if the church will ad "Feel Like Making Love" and "Bump 'n Grind" to the hymnal.

February 19, 2008 4:24 PM

boneill said:

DrDan- unfortunately, I am dating an evolutionary biologist.

OK, that's not true, but I think Olivia Judson is hot and I sometimes pretend she likes me.

February 19, 2008 4:53 PM

blackton said:

Jared Jesus Diamond! Only 31 times a month? that would be a drought for me! But maybe I am unique, after all, John Holmes was jealous of me back in the day.

February 19, 2008 5:27 PM

cspencef said:

av--I have it on good authority that "Feel Like Makin' Love" and "Bump 'n' Grind" did not make the cut, but that "Let's Get It On" is in, and regrettably, "I Want Your Sex" is still being considered...

February 19, 2008 5:38 PM

epicciuto said:

The day just isn't complete until "Little Timmy" and "Fingerbanging" are in the same sentence.

February 19, 2008 5:44 PM

adamvaught said:

Blackton,

You're like a talkbalk version of a 14-year old boy who goes to summer camp and returns home claiming he got laid by one of the female counselors.

February 19, 2008 5:46 PM

adamvaught said:

New Church motto: All the sex you can handle; still no dancing.  

February 19, 2008 5:51 PM

AlanK said:

Vulgarity warning.

A couple of years ago I read about one woman's recipe for a good marriage. Having been through this and that, she postulated a single, all-purpose method of keeping a marriage/relationship alive:

When anything goes wrong, or you argue about anything, give him a blow job.

Requiring sex every day is probably a sure way to turn eros into punishment, but her system (ideally, also utilized by her partner) is probably very workable.

BTW: Still in print is The Forever War, which...in passing...looks at what happens when sex is something you do in an attempt to bind two into one...whether you want to or not.

February 19, 2008 5:52 PM

adaglas said:

Dr Dan - Evolutionary biologists, to say nothing of women and sheep everywhere.

Blackton, don't listen to adamvaught.  He's just jealous of guys like you and me.  Heck, I nailed at least three counselors at summer camp*

*Nailed = played Four-Square with.

February 19, 2008 6:06 PM

CRS9TNR said:

I think AlanK's friend has the best Idea I have ever heard of.  That woman should be running for President.  I think she would be the only one able to bring peace to the Mideast.

But the Church stuff.  Once again it's titillation and paperwork.  Why would I want to read the bible after sex and write my thoughts down?  Usually after sex I come to TNR and start blogging.

Thanks Michelle for showing us a little of the silliness out there.

February 19, 2008 7:14 PM

jet said:

Is Michelle admitting her gender doesn't 'put out' enough after marriage?  I was always [brainwashed] told this wasn't the case, and that men were just oversexed crazies.  I guess brainwashed may be right.

February 19, 2008 8:02 PM