PERFIDIOUS DELAWARE

27.12.2006

PERFIDIOUS DELAWARE
Last night I drove home from northern New Jersey to Washington and it went smoothly enough except that, as customarily happens on such journeys, we hit a wall of traffic halfway through. What was the cause of it? Delaware. Yes, Delaware, that sinkhole of inequity and greed. Delaware, that backward, corrupt parasite state. Delaware, the great underappreciated scandal of modern American life. Those of us who do not live in Delaware are robbed blind by those who do in numerous ways. Probably the most consequential of those is its lax corporate governance laws, which are designed to attract as many businesses as possible to formally incorporate in that fetid state, shareholder interests be damned. But the most visible is surely its usurious turnpike. On a per mile basis, Delaware charges drivers a rate four times higher than its neighbors to pass through its otherwise inconsequential little strip of pavement. Worse still, its tollbooths are small and inefficient. So even if you have E-Z pass, you will be backed up for miles on end, a cost that for most drivers is far dearer than even the inflated toll fee. It so happens that the very day of my latest forced detainment in Delaware coincided with Joe Biden's announcement that he plans to run for president. Biden, of course, represents Delaware in the Senate. To me this is an insurmountable taint. Now, I suppose it's possible that Biden secretly opposes the foul political culture of his state but has held his tongue in order to protect his, and his state's, self-interest. But if we are to consider him as a presidential candidate, he must offer some sign that he would represent the rest of America, not just the one loathsome little bloodsucking tick of a state that has nurtured him. There is one sign he could make that make that would be unmistakable. Mr. Biden, tear down this tollbooth! --Jonathan Chait

Posted: Wednesday, December 27, 2006 3:16 PM with 28 comment(s)

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emulholl said:

C,mon, Jonathan, tells us what you really think about Delaware...

December 27, 2006 3:42 PM

Yminale said:

Do Delawarians hate Israel?

December 27, 2006 3:50 PM

achester99 said:

It's true, though. Delaware is a state that nobody knows anything about, until you become a corporate lawyer, and suddenly it's name is heard round the office more than any other. Hey, at least it least it has SOMEthing to its name. Illinois just sucks.

December 27, 2006 3:57 PM

teplukhin said:

Chait's piece on Delaware was a classic. Good reporting, hilarious and appalling by turns. Definitely a Best of '06 contender.

InsigniaCT said:

except that Chait wrote that piece in August 2002.

December 27, 2006 4:00 PM

jhunger80 said:

And it's true about the traffic. It can be clear on 95 both north and south of Delaware, but as soon as you hit that state everything comes grinding to a halt. At any time of day. And, if I had to guess, they probably hate Israel! >:(

December 27, 2006 4:02 PM

Robert Powell said:

Of all the countless illogical and non-pragmatic aspects of crypto-socialist government, toll booths are the worst.

December 27, 2006 4:06 PM

mike_stevens said:

The only tollbooth is right on the Delaware/Maryland border, so you should be able to get around it by taking College Ave exit to the Christiana Parkway, then turning onto Elkton Road through Maryland. May actually take longer than just waiting on 95, but you save three bucks.

December 27, 2006 4:38 PM

December 27, 2006 4:50 PM

vcolatriano said:

Believe me, along with some choice profanity, the 2002 TNR article taking down "the first state" occurred to me more than once as I too sat in that parking lot otherwise known as I-95. It was only the miracle of portable DVD technology that kept my 3-year old daughter in the back seat occupied as we inched past the gorgeous Delaware scenery: the awe-inspiring rest stop, the breathtaking corporate campuses of the pharmaceutical companies, the idyllic signs thoughtfully if mockingly advising us to reduce our speed as we neared the toll "plaza". I'm a little surprised that the Delaware E-Z Pass sensors weren't set up to detect my use of the DVD and charge me some amusement tax.

December 27, 2006 4:53 PM

Because Texas has worst corporate governance laws than Delaware and I find New Jersey has worst traffic than Delaware (maybe it's just me). As for Biden, at least he's not Joementum or Hillary.

December 27, 2006 5:35 PM

evannz said:

what is crypto-socialist about charging people to drive on the roads? socialist would be taking out the toll booths.

December 27, 2006 5:54 PM

Would take your car and force you to take public transportation.

December 27, 2006 5:55 PM

moomaw1 said:

...like Saddam did with Kuwait.

December 27, 2006 6:05 PM

jm_rice said:

Three billy goats live on one side of a stream. They look at the grass on the other side of the stream and decide that it is greener. The only way to cross the stream is over a bridge, under which lives a troll. The three goats cross the bridge one at a time, from the smallest to the largest. The first two goats are confronted by the troll, but persuade him to let them go by telling him that they are smaller than the next goat and will make an inferior meal. When the third goat crosses the bridge, the troll attempts to capture it. The troll is powerless against the unrestrained raw fury of the Big Billy Goat Gruff, who easily butts the troll high into the air and into the deep, fast-flowing river, where it drowns. The three goats are then free to eat the delicious grass on the other side of the river, and to cross the bridge any time.

December 27, 2006 6:57 PM

mpatrickhendri said:

hung on my door for the enjoyment of my co-workers from Delawhere? They didn't disagree with a word. But I have disagree with Delaware as the worst stae in America. Georgia holds that honor. And if you don't believe me, go to a UGA football game. I still get the shivers thinkng about all those mullets.

December 27, 2006 7:01 PM

I actually had a mullet in 1987. The soccer rocker variety. Bet I'm the only poster on the Plank who can make that claim.

December 27, 2006 7:03 PM

blackton said:

Avoid all tolls and take 78 out to 83 Harrisburg, then take the Blue and Gray highway (the Road the North and South trod to Gettysburg) all the way down to DC, it will add about 60 miles but no tolls and no waiting, plus no Delaware.

December 27, 2006 7:23 PM

janus said:

I read that article when it was originally written in 2002 and was greatly amused (as well as greatly horrified). In late 2003, I was still in college, and for my Communications 101 class, a persuasive speech was required. I titled my speech "Delaware is Evil," and your article, Mr. Chait, was my most vital source. I started out getting chuckles and laughs from my audience with gripes about tolls and credit card companies, but as I wrapped up with Delawarean Revolutionary War traitors, Delawarean Civil War traitors, public whippings and Russian mafia beheadings, no one was laughing. I got a 97.

December 27, 2006 8:04 PM

lesses said:

Amen! The Tuesday before Thanksgiving I was attempting to drive from Washington, D.C., to Boston - and got stopped for about 2 1/2 hours on I-95 in Delaware. When I finally inched into the toll plaza, I discovered that the real holdup occurred just beyond it, when four lanes were inexplicably narrowed into two lanes for some idiotic construction.

December 27, 2006 8:47 PM

Socialists would indeed force you to take public transportation. Crypto-socialists would have to compromise with free enterprise, which would prefer to finance the road with adjacent businesses, creating a job and travel-killing roadblock. Communists would make everyone stay home.

December 28, 2006 3:34 AM

...as the worst state in America. Georgia holds that honor. And if you don't believe me, go to a UGA football game. I still get the shivers thinking about all those mullets.

I actually had a mullet in 1987

I admire full disclosure. However...

A reformed mullethead is like a reformed lush or a former spouse:

"Guess who I saw at the party last night."

"Don't go to parties. Bunch of damn drunks!"

"Amazon is cleaning up this year."

"Reminds me of my ex."

"Hate those Delaware toll roads."

"Worst state is Georgia. Ugh, all those mullets!"

The giveaway: they're always non-sequiturs, the desperate overcompensation of a guilty conscience.

December 28, 2006 9:44 AM

shanedingman said:

Because there has to be a prize for the most useless state in the Union... Here in Canada the most useless Province is Prince Edward Island (home of potatoes, and about of 138,000 people). It's smaller than most small cities in Ontario (population 8 million) and is somehow guaranteed four seats in our parliament! Thus, you can literally meet every one of your electors, and in a downtown Toronto riding a single Member of Parliament can represent over 115,000 people. Seems fair, right? Not as unfair as your senate, all in, but still awful. Also, it's not even Canada's biggest Island! It's like 23rd! So which is the most useless American State? I'm gonna have to go out on a limb and guess that one of the Dakotas is probably a net drain on your society and government...

December 28, 2006 10:27 AM

dubyadoubte said:

They did serve one purpose during the cold war. As they are inland, and are absolutely devoid of anything, they were perfect for SAC missile and bomber bases, thus acting as giant sponges to absorb a Soviet nuclear strike.

December 28, 2006 10:38 AM

wfberan said:

I also bypass the Delaware toll by exiting at the last MD exit, going up to Route 2 and cutting over to the Univ. of Delaware, taking a right and picking up 95 after the toll. I agree that it might not save time but it makes me feel so much better that this pathetic zit of a state is without $3.00 of my money.

December 28, 2006 10:51 AM

martinr said:

One more problem with the booths: both the northbound and southbound booths are located at the Maryland border at the south end of the turnpike. When most Delawareans leave the state for work they are heading north towards Philadelphia, so they never see a tollbooth and get a free and unimpeded ride in each direction. Maybe if more locals had to put up with the booths on a daily basis, the booths would become more efficient or even go away altogether. It seems really unfair to tax long-haul travelers and visitors from the south in this manner while favoring the locals. Constitutional lawyers: is this unfairness to outsiders a violation of our right to travel?

December 28, 2006 12:36 PM

ggponi said:

All right, Mr. Powell, let's see you zip around on your privately-built highways.

December 30, 2006 11:37 PM

The Plank said:

Supply-siders , the sitting president , Delaware …it’s true; our very own Jon Chait isn’t a particularly

November 13, 2007 2:48 PM